Birthday Sex
by suckersoprano
Summary: Rick's birthday started off pretty boring until he found a surprise waiting back at his apartment. Factventure-Adult content warning, nsfw, human AU


I wrote this for my dear friend Red's birthday. NSFW for graphic sex.

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><p>Fairly normal birthday, Rick conceded, not the adventure he was hoping, but it was good enough. Turning thirty should have been more exciting, but he figured he'd make it up to himself another time. Getting up his stairs was too easy and actually remembering which key was his apartment's said loud and clear that he was just tipsy. He made a mental note to punch out Wheats for it later; they didn't even go to a strip club or cause any havoc… Rick's opinion of his thirtieth birthday was steadily working its way down to the dumps. No use in getting depressed about it, he figured, walking into his kitchen and dumping his keys in the key bowl.<p>

The fridge light was the only thing lighting his kitchen as he fumbled around for another beer to maybe sleep by. It was barely midnight; whose birthday ends before _midnight_? Rick continued to grumble as he righted himself and began to close the fridge. There was a piece of paper on his kitchen table that caught his eye, though. The fridge was left open as he snatched it up and read the looping script written on it. _Happy Birthday_, it said, nothing more.

A whimper came from his living room and he hastily dropped the paper in favor of pressing his back against the wall next to the kitchen entryway. The sound didn't come again, but he stayed put for a long time. He couldn't hear anyone breathing, so he walked into his living room, hands extended, ready to fight. All he found was another piece of paper with the same looping script sitting on his coffee table. This one read _Come find your present._ There was movement coming from his bedroom and Rick narrowed his eyes. Present his ass, something _fishy_ was going on here.

Again, he pressed his back on the wall just outside of his bedroom and listened again. There was definitely breathing now, he could hear it. With a turn of his heel, Rick burst into his room.

"HEY, get the h—What in the hell?" he was mid-threat for anyone to get out of his apartment, only to be struck dumb by the view he got instead.

Lying face down on his bed was a blond, slender form, arms tied behind the back with a giant pink ribbon. That form was wearing pants, but not much else; even through the dim light streaming through his windows, Rick knew who that was. It was someone he _regularly_ came to blows with at work, someone who bitched and moaned at him for one thing or another; Rick shot insults and quips right back, of course, but their relationship was far from _good_ or even _friendly_. He just never figured he'd see _Craig_, half-naked and tied up on his bed. There was another length of ribbon tied around his mouth, forming something of a gag. By the looks of it, Craig had to be either really flexible or someone else put him here; not to mention how he got in here.

Rick circled the bed, arms crossed with an evil grin on his face. Why in the world this happened, who in the world had allowed him a bit of revenge on a man who constantly gave him hell, he didn't know. His mind wasn't conjuring up ideas of humiliation and justified taunting, oh no. Rick wasn't sure _where_ it came from; he blamed it on the alcohol. Possibly the way skinny Craig's back arched on the bed, his trouser-clad ass presented to him very nicely in the air or the way his pink eyes were wide and pleading.

It was a hard decision, but Rick finally bent down and lifted Craig's chin. He didn't consider himself the type of guy who'd flat out do something _evil_, so he was watching Craig's reaction. His face immediately darkened to a flushed pink and his eyes were darting away, chin trembling. Rick let go and removed the man's glasses, carefully setting them on his bedside table. Experimentally, he ran his fingers across Craig's bare neck; the man responded with a further arch of his back and another desperate whimper.

"I'm gonna ask y'this, n' I'm gonna ask y'jus' once, didja do this?" Rick asked softly and he got almost an immediate, curt nod of the head and an even darker flush, reaching clear up to Craig's ears.

That was peculiar, but the tightness behind Rick's fly didn't afford many other questions. Tomorrow he'd blame it on drinking too much, though he hadn't been anywhere near drunk. He didn't even think what to do about Craig and what he'd think, but that was for later. For now was flipping him on his back and tearing his pants off of his body. For right now, Craig just gave him a pretty damn good birthday present: _him._ For now, Rick really just wanted to tear right into this helpless little scrap that was offering himself up so deliciously.

The fact that Craig looked nervous as hell didn't escape Rick; he almost took pity on the poor bastard, but Rick quickly reminded himself that Craig _wanted_ this. If he wanted this, then he was in for one _helluva_ ride tonight. The navy slacks that Craig wore were tossed to the floor without a second thought, leaving Craig clad in nothing now. Commando. Rick's smile couldn't get any wider; he moved on the bed with his back against the headboard and dragged Craig into his lap. His hands idly ran up and down Craig's ribcage, making the blonde shudder and his already hard arousal twitch violently. An odd idea struck him suddenly and he tugged the ribbon away from Craig's mouth, snugly and quickly wrapping the pink fabric in a loop around the base of his present's cock and around his sac, tying a neat bow near his stomach with a wry grin. Craig was gasping in his shoulder, apparently too nervous to speak.

The time wasn't even midnight, if Rick recalled, so they had _plenty_ of time to have as much fun as _he_ wanted. He pressed his mouth against Craig's shoulders, placing careful, but wet kisses toward his neck, finally gently grazing his teeth against the place on the blonde's neck that thudded hard with his racing heartbeat. Craig buried his face into Rick's neck suddenly with a guttural groan; that was exactly what Rick wanted by taking that gag off of him. He wanted to _hear_ what he was doing to Craig; he wanted to hear the blonde _scream_.

Large, rough hands trailed up and down Craig's shuddering back, Rick took his time marking up his birthday present, biting and sucking deep purple marks on his shoulders, neck, and collarbones. The hot panting Rick could feel on his own neck along with every little bit back moan and whimper was completely worth whatever the consequences tomorrow might have for the both of them. Truthfully, leaving a little present for Craig to remember him by for the next couple of days made him harder than he already was.

Another purple mark on Craig's pale neck made him gasp out something that sounded akin to a _beg_, "Oh_god, please_," he mumbled into the collar of Rick's shirt.

"Please _what_, darlin'?" Rick said, his tone suddenly sounding mischievous, "Tell me what'cha want."

Rick's calloused fingers ran back down to the small of Craig's back, causing him to arch back with a gasp, "I-I don't know, I didn't expect this!"

"Then tell me, what didja expect?" Rick laughed into the crook of Craig's neck, trailing his mouth down his chest.

"I-I-I don't know, that you'd kick m-me out—_Ahhh_!" Craig sputtered and trailed off into a gasping moan while he stretched all the way back so his shoulders were hovering over the mattress.

There was a slick trail from the hollow of Craig's throat down to his chest and across his stomach, where Rick had bitten very gently at some very fine blonde hairs just under his navel. He hadn't expected that reaction, but it was ideal, having Craig arched out and stretched like bow across his lap. This also gave him a pretty good reach at his present's smooth cock; he leaned down slightly and gave the head an experimental lick and he was rewarded with a violent buck of Craig's hips and a heavy gasp.

Rick chuckled and ran both hands down Craig's thighs, enjoying the very obvious shuddering of the man's whole body, "Tell me, sweetheart."

Idly, Rick tightened the pink ribbon that he'd neatly tied around the base of his 'birthday gift,' Craig seemingly fought with himself, making very small noises while sinking his teeth in his bottom lip, failing, but attempting to keep quiet. This was kind of annoying, as Rick _asked_ a question; he took the initiative leaning down right over Craig. The smaller man's chin was tucked against his chest, peering back at Rick's predatory smile with shuddering breaths and a terrified gaze.

"What d'ya want, darlin'? Jus' touchin' ya is pretty damn nice, but I think y'want more," his voice rumbled deep and quiet, making Craig shut his eyes hold perfectly still lest he betray himself, "C'mon, jus' say it."

His lips parted slightly, but all that came out was a shuddering gasp that turned into a sharp inhale when Rick's stubbled chin brushed against his stomach and his breath across his arousal, "_Please, please, oh god_," Craig whimpered, his voice airy and desperate.

"Want me t'_please what_, Pinky? Suck you?" the words seemed heavier, breathier as they were spoken now, making Craig twist underneath of Rick's looming figure, biting back a premature moan at the lewd language.

"_Please, ye—_Oh… Oh god!" the bound man's voice raised in pitch to a wail when Rick's mouth passed over the head of his cock, leisurely sliding his tongue across the head, down the vein and around the corona.

Two strong hands pressed down on Craig's hips, keeping him from thrusting up into that wet warmth that he suddenly wanted _very bad _around his length, _all_ around his length. The rush of lust that clouded his mind made him completely forget why he was even tied up in Rick's bedroom in the first place, but nothing mattered while the tip of his cock was sliding under one very warm and welcome tongue. The pleasure that followed nearly didn't register, Rick's mouth completely closed around the head of Craig's cock and he sucked _hard_; just as quickly, he let go and Craig was left tense, whining softly.

"Happy birthday t'me, right, darlin'? 'M gonna enjoy _th'hell_ outta this," he drawled and pushed him completely off of his lap and onto the bed.

The noises he heard after that could only be construed as fumbling around for something, likely supplies; he was dimly aware that he'd brought them, but he was still reeling from sensation and a good deal more anticipation. Had he not accidentally brought the idea up to Wheatley of all people, he wouldn't have been here and he certainly would have backed out much sooner; before he _could_ though, Wheatley had done a surprisingly expert job of tying his hands behind his back. In reality; Craig was _hoping_ for this, but did not expect it in the least. It came to this, his hands tied behind his back, a trail of purple bruises on his throat, and a quickly drying, cold cock that Rick had his _mouth_ around.

"M-my pocket," he managed to gasp out finally.

The shuffling sound of fabric could be heard and a low hum of approval, immediately followed by more shuffling fabric could be heard, making Craig swallow hard with fear and excitement. The next time he saw Rick, he was tilted up back into his lap and Rick had shed his clothing. As if Craig's head wasn't swimming enough, he didn't even register it might've gotten to this point.

"Y'really did come ready for me t'fuck ya, didn't ya?" was it Craig's mind or was Rick's voice getting huskier, needier?

"I h-had hoped," Craig admitted, eyelids half-closed, watching Rick's mouth as it moved.

That mouth split into a grin that suddenly got closer; Craig was so hazy at this point he didn't remember when their lips met, but he relaxed right into the kiss. Sliding tongues and muffled moans were the desired distraction; Rick's arm wrapped and pulled at Craig's shoulders, getting him to lean forward, curving his back. The sudden slick feeling against his entrance caused him to accidentally bite down on Rick's bottom lip with a groan, but there was little he could do about it. His neck craned backwards with a long exhale, enjoying the odd sliding feeling across his lower regions, but the moment pressure was applied, Craig's forehead hit Rick's shoulder with an almost painful thud.

"Shh, relax, angel, tha's right, relax," Rick whispered to him while Craig was gasping, pained.

Despite the shock of pain and the odd intrusion, the stretching felt oddly _good_. Getting accustomed to the feeling of invasion by thick, sure fingers didn't take long and soon he was angling his hips downward, trying to fight against Rick's slower, confident pace. Desperately, he wished his arms were untied so he could _touch_ Rick, run his hands across the corded muscle on his neck and shoulders, down his tanned skin and through his chest hair, but he _couldn't_. Instead, because Craig was going _too_ fast, pain suddenly shot through him and he keened high, sharp.

A loose hand wrapped around his arousal, rubbing away the pain very softly until Craig was gasping from pleasure instead of pain. The fingers inside of him started to move again and he tensed it up again until Rick's hand tightened around him; he rolled his hips forward, seeking out more friction and soon the tension melted away, his fingers were moving in and out of him. Craig could feel the silk ribbon around his cock unbearably tight, but the constricting feeling only added to the sudden shock of pleasure of fingers brushing against something sensitive inside of him. Dimly he was aware the fingers being removed and Rick's hand taken off of his length; he nervously stared down, watching Rick position himself-_god, he looked a lot bigger than he expected-_just when Rick started to pull him down, his hand was on Craig's chin, forcefully yanking it up and pulling him into a crushing kiss.

Rick suddenly yanked the knot to the bow holding Craig's arms behind him and instinctively , he threw his arms around Rick's neck, digging his fingers into his hair almost harshly while Rick's big hands pressed down on his hips. He was slow, _too slow_, Craig thought, though any faster and he'd be in a lot of pain; Rick broke away, jaw tight, groaning low in his throat. Through the heavy panting, Craig almost laughed, bracing himself on Rick's shoulders, lifting himself up and crashing back down with a staccato bounce.

"Ahhh, _hell_, you're really fuckin'…," Rick's hands gripped his hips almost painfully, but the fingerprint bruises weren't as satisfying as hearing the noises Rick was making.

It was amazing how much _pain_ was so goddamn arousing, Craig thought somewhere through the haze. Just as he tried to bounce up again, Rick gripped his hips harder and shoved him backward, seemingly done with games and did not have any more patience. Craig wasn't ready for the hard slap of Rick's groin against him, his length driving back into him, slamming against his prostate with a literal scream of shocked pleasure. Large hands slid up his waist, past his chest and gripped his hands, lacing their fingers together while pressing them on the bed.

"_Fuck_, y'feel so goddamn _good_," Rick gasped, thrusting in time with Craig's sharp, short moans.

The angle and the force being driven into him had Craig close, _so goddamn close_ very, very fast, but the ribbon was too tight. He moaned, pained and needy, his back arching, trying to drag his hands away from Rick's grasp. He knew, oh, he knew and the grip got tighter, there was a smug grin on his mouth.

"_Haah, _no, _tell me_, y'want me t'make ya come, _tell me!_" he hissed, slamming harder, faster.

"Oh _god_," Craig wailed, "Please, _please, oh god_."

Rick didn't let up, he didn't hear what he wanted. His hands moved to Craig's shoulders, yanking him down with low moan and a slap of skin. Craig could barely remember how to speak, though the tightening pain around his cock was unyielding and wouldn't let him forget exactly what his goal was.

"_AAANGH, PLEASE!_" he cried out, grabbing at Rick's shoulders, nails scraping, "_PLEASE, LET ME… LET ME COME, _PLEASE!"

It seemed just as simple as that, after a harsh tug at the ribbon; it took barely one more violent thrust against that sensitive area inside of him to have him howling, spilling across his stomach while strong hands pulled him up, bending him. He was shaking hard, watching Rick's shoulders knot with effort over him, watching his face while his whole body shuddered, riding out the rest of his prolonged, but sharp orgasm. Rick's head suddenly dropped down to his neck, his lips moving, muttering something into Craig's skin.

"…_god, fuck_, you're so damn … _ah fuck_," Rick was groaning into his shoulder, making that shot of electricity after coming that much worse.

Rick froze suddenly, lifting his head for a long, breathy moan. It didn't take him long to continue rocking against Craig's hips, eyes screwed shut and mouth parted with slow breaths. Craig's grip on his shoulders tightened as he started to slowly pull out of him. Limply, Craig laid there and tried to get his heart rate under control; simultaneously trying to think of something to say that would save his pride just a little bit. He fully intended on chickening out when he was facing Rick's apartment door earlier, but his 'help' didn't allow that. Back in reality, he vaguely heard the snap of elastic, and a rustle of a waste bin; oh god, he was doing a poor job at this birthday present thing, Rick was cleaning up, not him.

Just as he shot up to try to protest, Rick's sure arms were around him. Craig stiffened, unsure of what to expect now that the rush of heat was mostly gone; well, he knew for _him_ was still there but—Rick's rough chin was brushing against the nape of his neck and the worry was nearly gone, replaced with a contended sigh.

"Why'd y'do that?" he asked, pulling Craig to his chest, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Did… would you really have accepted had I simply come out and said it?" Craig managed to mumble, trying to choke down his fluttering heartbeat.

"Nah, I woulda thought y'were messin' with me, n'I woulda tried t'mess back," he chuckled into the back of Craig's neck, making every single tiny hair stand on end, "Not t'mention save face."

Craig swallowed hard, immediately thinking of the first thing on his mind when he thought about the consequences of this: _what was going to happen afterward_?

"How'd y'get in anyway?" Rick interrupted his train of thought.

"Ah… well, Wheatley found out a-about… ah," he said, frantically trying to think of something that wouldn't make him look bad, look desperate.

Rick snorted out a laugh, "'N how'd y'know I'd go for it?"

"I didn't," Craig said, very serious, "He didn't let me back out at the last minute like I had wanted."

His gaze cast to the pink ribbon, remember how stupidly surprised he'd been with Wheatley was both good at knots and surprisingly fast. It was lying across Rick's leg, both of which were around him. He was quite content arranged in Rick's lap like this, him breathing across his neck, face mostly buried in his blonde hair, but the next part was intimidating enough that he wished he weren't here.

"Uhm… so, I also wanted to propose a truce between us," he said tentatively, "We rarely get along, but… ah…"

He had a whole speech planned out in his head, but he suddenly couldn't remember it now that Rick was kissing the nape of his neck. What was he going to say? Something about reasons and… nope, it was gone completely now.

"If this kinda stuff kin happen 'gain, I don't think I mind t'all, Pinky," he said, voice rumbling deep enough that Craig could feel it along his spine, making him shiver.

_Again_? Oh, his luck was very good today, he didn't get his ass kicked like he expected and now, there were offers of very thorough, heated ravishings _again. _Craig didn't get a chance to get his dropped jaw working again because soon he was wrestled under the covers of Rick's bed, his arms still around his waist, pulled tightly against his chest. With a bit of wiggling, he managed to turn around and face the other man, whose eyes were already closed with a contended smile.

Finally, he could relax, maybe worry about tomorrow just for breakfast and not bad implications and awkward dances in public. Boldly, he leaned in and kissed the corner of Rick's mouth before settling in under the covers.

"Happy birthday," he mumbled, almost too quiet to hear.

Rick's fingers curled into his hair, tugging him closer, mumbling a thanks. Pretty good birthday, when birthday lays are considered, pretty damn good birthday.


End file.
